I am so overwhelmed…I just can’t even vocalize what is going on in my heart and life. I feel God making such a huge change…but I just can’t explain it…heck, I can’t even comprehend it…it’s overwhelming…as if a very long and extremely difficult season has finally passed and God is starting a brand new thing…I am so taken aback…the retreat that seemed empty…is now making sense…just like all the others before…there was a purpose in the dryness of it all…it was symbolic of the desert I have had to go through over the last few years…and now, I have reached the wellspring and he is just welling up and overflowing like never before in my life. I don’t know why now…but God’s timing is perfect. A few weeks ago, I struggled to have a positive though (a good part of it was due to medicine that I am no longer taking)…and now…I can’t find a negative one to save my life. I broke down and surrendered. No great change took place in an instant…but it started in that moment and so much is happening so fast that my head is spinning…and IT’S ALL GOOD!!!! My grandson is coming next week! Oh man, I am so excited! I am excited about this wonderful new church Michael and I are visiting…I am thankful for the pastor who prayed with me..that was it! That was the official moment…Sunday, during worship, in church…that was the turning point…I remember it now! Then, the pastor took time to speak to us and gave me an opportunity to be transparent..then he prayed…and God blessed!!!! Oh man! I don’t know why I am so blessed right now but I am enjoying every second of it! Haha!!!!! This is the biggest mountain top I have ever climbed…and the most difficult one to climb as well! So worth it! God will use it through ministry to others! He already is!!!! Oh, I pray I get to linger here for a while before I start climbing the next one (it will take me even higher and at this point…I just can’t handle that much! LOL. God won’t give us more than we can handle right? Ha!) The view is gorgeous!!!!! I am a sponge!!!!!
Oh, Father, thank you for never leaving me and for getting me through this difficult climb. Thank you for the clarity, the fresh air, the newness, the refreshment…the joy unspeakable and peace that surpasses understanding….and it just seems to have come out of nowhere. So many pieces of the puzzle…and the completed picture (of one in a series of this life). It all makes sense! Everything…all the way back to my childhood. I kept asking why???? Now I KNOW WHY!!!! SO THAT YOU COULD BE GLORIFIED!!!!
A member of the church came to visit us Sunday. He said something that will stay with me forever. I probably won’t word it just right but I’ll try my best…He asked me what Jesus did to prove to the disciples who He was. The answer is that he showed them his scars. Then he proceeded to tell me that our scars are not something to be ashamed of as satan would have us to believe, but they are the scars that bring glory to God and where He has brought us from…they are the testimony of our salvation! I praise God for these scars…these beautiful scars that glorify Him and testify to His almighty greatness! I can truly say, this is a fresh new awakening for me! Oh, Father, God…praise be to Your Holy Name! All the glory and honor goes to You alone forever and ever! Amen.